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D33War12's favorite FMLs
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML
by ahappypenguin / 09/26/2012 at 12:07am / Miscellaneous
by Shameful / 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Needsanewjob / 01/10/2012 at 10:34am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by naomids / 12/29/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by tickle spunk / 12/29/2011 at 1:39pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML
by Grossed Out / 12/29/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by ;)loganberry(; / 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (Montana) / Intimacy
Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML
by somewhatlucky / 12/27/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…