About Cuteroxx : I love myself!!
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Cuteroxx's favorite FMLs
Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML
by longlongwinter / 12/05/2013 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Miscellaneous
by eastsiderounder / 12/02/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML
by Fortunato_18 / 12/02/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids
by no she wasn't high / 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
by bad poet / 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML
by HereKittyKitty / 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML
by ali456 / 12/01/2013 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
by JD / 12/01/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Tasmania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML
by JudasThePriest / 12/01/2013 at 2:42am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:02am / Norway / Health
by Anonymous / 11/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (Texas) / Health
by MissDQ / 11/30/2013 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous