Cusefan5

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Cusefan5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 990
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Cusefan5's page activity

Visits<b>Andrew4787</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 9:36am<b>JulyUruguay</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Earth_walker</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:52am<b>Donkkill13</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 1:47pm<b>GreentacoDerp</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Kranksinnige</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 2:07am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:58am<b>panda_waffle22</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 5:56am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:26pm<b>littlemoon23</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 12:04am<b>texan_born</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:57pm<b>lmogummyhippo</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 3:32pm<b>turkishhotpocket</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 5:31am<b>rushsoccer18</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 11:07pm<b>HBFINDIANA</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:10pm<b>penguinpride</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 5:49pm<b>Sonfang</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:29am

Cusefan5's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cusefan5's badges

Cusefan5's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

by Cuntlette / 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

by richard / 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

by JacksWag4 / 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML

by frustrated / 07/11/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

by LimpMcgee / 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

by latino / 11/11/2010 at 6:30am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

by abdominates / 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

by Beefballs / 07/29/2009 at 2:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous