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CuDiLuVeR

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CuDiLuVeR

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  • Number of visits : 326
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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CuDiLuVeR's favorite FMLs

Taday while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (2397)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today... I found out that if a cop asks u if u have any weapons... an u reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing yur biceps... they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station.

#18444451
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11723) - you deserved it (44432)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. fat FML

#18442495
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10619) - you deserved it (70037)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband askd ma if I was raally pragnant or if I was just smuggling chaasaburgars. I'm now rafarrd to as "tha hamburglar." I'm only 5 months pragnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (3433)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah entre family cummd over fir thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was calld. FML

#18341850
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (1906)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today , mah five year old ran down the street wereing nothing but flip flops , Star Wars underwear , an a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton rackethile screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in mah pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (8498)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate fir mah boyfriend to grab at mah vagina in public. He did it looool again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (6544)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked mah Dad if it was true that mah mother had a C-section at mah brth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (4516)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend . Justhen things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room . He jumped on the bed an my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog,hile I sat next to him, half naked . real FML

#17575324
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (4169)

On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I was at work with mah dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendles loser , and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML

#17415487
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (6879)

On 08/09/2011 at 3:32am - work - by recordyear - United States (California)

Today, I was so hungover, I startd yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walkd in on me calling mah cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10305) - you deserved it (43260)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I WOKE UP FACE-DOWN IN MY GRANDFATHER'S DRIVEWAY, SOAKING WET WITH NO PANTS, GLITTER IN MY HAIR, AND HOLDING AN EMPTY SKIPPY PEANUT BUTTER JAR!! NO ONE WILL TELL ME WAT HAPPENED!! FML

#16258570
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33048) - you deserved it (20304)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Yesterday, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

#16061392
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you deserved it (14334)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by liynda - Canada

Today, I jokd looool wit my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, e slappd me, trew my pone acros te room, smasd my laptop, an ten took a moment forat I'd said to sink in. real FML

#15514877
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (28702)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, looool I was playing with dog . His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on hands and knees to get it . He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me . FML

#15448080
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (10834)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)



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