About Ctrl_H : I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring.
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Ctrl_H's favorite FMLs
by CrappyCar / 05/14/2013 at 1:29am / United States / Transportation
by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by flowerging / 04/11/2013 at 12:53am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…