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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 5:35pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2725
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ctrl_H : I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring.

Ctrl_H's page activity

Visits<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 9:27pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:29am<b>stellaneptune</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:50am<b>couchcat</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:47pm<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:21pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:55am<b>deathpotato</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 3:21pm<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:06am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 12:35pm<b>mayacat</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:34pm<b>Apollo182</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:43pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:39am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:09am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:38pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 3:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:21pm

Ctrl_H's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ctrl_H's badges

Ctrl_H's favorite FMLs

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

by WTF, America? / 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm / Sweden / Health

Today, I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub for my boyfriend. I leaned back and caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

by Msmerfner / 08/03/2013 at 4:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

by ulisha5 / 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

by tkghan / 08/02/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

by dareyale / 07/26/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

by WhyThankYou / 07/26/2013 at 1:31am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

by butisavedyourkid / 06/06/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Kids

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

by mustache girl / 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

by maarkblack / 05/22/2013 at 10:51am / United States / Money

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

by joolsie / 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom / Love