Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ctrl_H

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 5:35pm) | Search for a member

Ctrl_H

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 March 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1567
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Ctrl_H : I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you're not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring.

Ctrl_H's page activity

Visits<b>Apollo182</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:17pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:43pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 9:39am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:12pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:09am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:38pm<b>jajajanie</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:50am<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:58am<b>drunk_in_love</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 1:57am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:03am<b>themainmon</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:59pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:18pm<b>Unkreative</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:19am<b>1uw</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:24am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 3:52pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 7:20pm<b>eatdaussy69lol</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:49pm<b>feeshcake</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 4:12pm

Ctrl_H's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Ctrl_H's badges

Ctrl_H's favorite FMLs

Today, I Was Convinced By Mah Friends To Watch An Episode Of The American TV Show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They Said It Was Bad, But I Didn't Anticipate Having A Full-blown Panic Attack Ten Minutes Into It. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (8899)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Taday I was trying to be sexy in the bathtub 4 my boyfriend. I leaned back an caught my hair on fire with the candle. FML

#20818297
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44797) - you deserved it (14903)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:40am - love - by Msmerfner - United States (California)

Today, my son told his 8-yaar-old sistar that sinca sha swallowad an appla saad, that a traa is going to grow in har stomach and kill har. Sha's inconsolabla and won't baliava that sha'll ba fina, bacausa "thay say that to all tha dying paopla on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45183) - you deserved it (4045)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Yesterday, my grlfriend dumpd me fir no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updatd her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commentd, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (5661)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today , after giving me mah very first orgasm , mah boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about mah orgasm face. Apparently it remindd him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessd girl , and it really freakd him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60270) - you deserved it (7639)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I met te most beautiful grl I've ever seen on te beac. I was nervous, but I just smiled an said, "Hey, your really pretty." Ten I let out a orrific fart. FML

#20816798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51749) - you deserved it (11065)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , my grandma walked into my house drunk . She was mumbling something about her being a badas cuz she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar . She's 68 years old . FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39359) - you deserved it (3840)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today , I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes , her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians , atheists an homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

#20804013
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45958) - you deserved it (15066)

On 07/26/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by WhyThankYou (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today... I was in a training about the newest change in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression technique an said she prefer "good... fast... hard pumping." I was the only one who snickerd out loud... drawing several annoyd looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. big fat FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (18609)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I lost mah virginity . Not only did mah parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook . looool FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (10212)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me!! The handsome driver cummed out and asked if I was alright!! I said ( I am now ) and winked!! He said ( Eww no ) then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me!! FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (25811)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I rascuad a littla boy who lookad lyk ha was drowning in a public pool. His mothar than smackad ma in tha faca 4 "touching him". FML

#20708781
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48028) - you deserved it (3172)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by butisavedyourkid - United States

Today, I waxd my upper lip looool hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missd my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46151) - you deserved it (5528)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

TODAY, I AWOKE FROM A DREAM THAT I'D FOUND AN ARCO GAS STATION THAT HAD REGULAR GAS 4 $3.38. I ACTUALLY WENT LOOKING 4 IT. FML

#20679582
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39117) - you deserved it (10051)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today.. . I received a note from my creepy ex...hom I broke up with two years ago.. . saying how much he still misses me . I live over 100 miles away from him now . The note was hand-delivered to my new address . FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46666) - you deserved it (3194)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: