Cruzg2017

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Offline (the 01/12/2016 at 10:57pm)

Cruzg2017

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 January 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1713
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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Cruzg2017's page activity

Visits<b>TheSignOfLibra</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 2:01pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:28am<b>andrmac</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:30am<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:37pm<b>missadell</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:52pm<b>pixie158</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:55am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:54am<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Swaglord3000</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:49pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 5:59pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 4:38pm<b>Fappy69</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:20am<b>manda_xD</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:00pm<b>orbit</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:27pm<b>Bloink</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 3:48am<b>EsotericBrent</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:51pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:02am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:02am

Fucked!<b>andrmac</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 6:30am

Cruzg2017's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Cruzg2017's badges

Cruzg2017's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

by rockytrolley / 10/08/2014 at 5:01am / Cyprus / Transportation

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Kids

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

by he's not the one going to hell / 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm / Australia / Geek

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy