CrookedCook

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CrookedCook

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 October 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1071
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About CrookedCook : Long time FML looker, recent commentator.

CrookedCook's page activity

Visits<b>pepper200</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 11:39am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 3:00am<b>EpicGoatman</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 11:36am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:52pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 10:01pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 11:12am<b>theorangecurls</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:35pm<b>thatsavagecat</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:22am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:27am<b>facelick</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 3:00pm<b>mexican_music</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:51am<b>stephhrunsaway</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:26pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:05pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Jishiku</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 5:34am<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:06am

Fucked!<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 5:12pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:06am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:05pm

CrookedCook's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of CrookedCook's badges

CrookedCook's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

by Treats For Days / 07/19/2013 at 9:54am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

by not cool / 06/28/2013 at 1:16am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

by paulinapo / 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

by t.hughes / 04/01/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 12:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love