About Crlnprz : Im 17 years old currently living in Indiana, born in California.
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Crlnprz's favorite FMLs
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2014 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Angus) / Miscellaneous
by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
by NoorFML / 10/19/2012 at 10:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
by Toolate / 10/10/2012 at 4:26am / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
by yolo is for shitheads / 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm / United States / Work
Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML
by Dave / 09/27/2012 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 9:15am / United States / Health
by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
by Laviolette / 02/23/2012 at 5:01pm / France / Miscellaneous
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
by mrs.nerd / 10/23/2011 at 8:38am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2011 at 7:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
by Awie / 10/20/2011 at 4:26am / Austria (Wien) / Love
by notinterested / 09/13/2011 at 6:11am / United States / Intimacy