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Cristian89

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Cristian89

9Fucked!

Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Covina, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6525
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs 😄

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>sarahyep</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:08am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:25pm<b>KVYLV</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>marthagayo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:22am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59760) - you deserved it (6438)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

#20862012
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42312) - you deserved it (3812)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23578) - you deserved it (68817)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (7712)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59409) - you deserved it (4724)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (9839)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56253) - you deserved it (16531)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55034) - you deserved it (4195)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

#20833166
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50636) - you deserved it (6167)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64366) - you deserved it (23662)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

#20830594
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44639) - you deserved it (5182)

On 08/10/2013 at 11:23am - health - by Oh-Shit! - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49863) - you deserved it (9163)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49769) - you deserved it (40632)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt



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