Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Online | Search for a member

Cristian89

7Fucked!

Cristian89Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5992
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs 😄
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>changster_</b> - 14 hours ago<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:23pm<b>mcamilli</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:30pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:54pm<b>jordyn20915</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:07am<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:14am<b>TheBelt</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Sazzles</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:19pm<b>chefnoel22</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:13pm<b>ApplePie1994</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:22pm<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:24am<b>erin55378</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:07am<b>chickypie1987</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:24am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:59pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:39pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:27pm<b>valeriewolfe</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:18pm<b>alina_2bu</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:07pm

Fucked!<b>KVYLV</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>marthagayo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:22am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53748) - you deserved it (32560)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58270) - you deserved it (5847)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (5202)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, we were playing charades at school. My word was "head", so I pointed to my face. Nobody on my team got it. But they did guess, "Ugly?!" FML

#21024059
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (4590)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by kyyle - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49301) - you deserved it (20367)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42314) - you deserved it (34365)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58087) - you deserved it (7847)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (8095) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50238) - you deserved it (11926)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

#21003362
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (5463)

On 12/24/2013 at 5:45am - misc - by yarenis - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML

#20992325
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50247) - you deserved it (9259)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54426) - you deserved it (7494)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68144) - you deserved it (3716)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46741) - you deserved it (5148)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: