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Cristian89

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Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, CA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1557
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs :D
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's last visitors

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Cristian89's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49277) - you deserved it (5147)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60822) - you deserved it (18981)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

#20768180
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44708) - you deserved it (22150)

On 07/07/2013 at 2:35am - misc - by lostmystuff (man) - United States (California)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45194) - you deserved it (2413)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52491) - you deserved it (7434)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43314) - you deserved it (16943)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50487) - you deserved it (4315)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62402) - you deserved it (7359)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46971) - you deserved it (14451)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

#20761277
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42557) - you deserved it (4641)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:09am - work - by melons (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (19299)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51664) - you deserved it (5623)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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