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  • Town/Country : Covina, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8441
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs 😄
Add me on SnapChat : chinchilla.89

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>hannah_nana109</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 4:34pm<b>monkeysee21</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:36am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:24am<b>leafynitemare</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 5:28am<b>beffnytutt</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 10:31pm<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 2:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 6:51pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 12:44am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:19am<b>EddySaBoy</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:56am<b>badassmf1234</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:45pm<b>nadiabjensen</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:27pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:26am<b>usedername</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:05pm<b>SWhimsynBubbaS</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:05am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:54am<b>RedCronos</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 2:33am<b>StarDust5921</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:22pm

Fucked!<b>usedername</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 3:05am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:29am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:08am<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:25pm<b>KVYLV</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>marthagayo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:22am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

by xerrika / 06/03/2014 at 7:56am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2014 at 5:46am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

by Yeppets / 05/28/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my first day of work in my life. I was excited, and so was my dad, who saw me to the door and ruffled my hair as he wished me luck. I didn't notice until half an hour after arriving at work that he'd stuck his gum in my hair. Nobody bothered to tell me. FML

by sheisselluv / 05/11/2014 at 4:30pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Work

Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I love him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML

by not gay in AL / 05/11/2014 at 1:57pm / United States / Love

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

by caught out / 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm / Canada / Health

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

by sparkrok / 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money