Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cristian89

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

Cristian89

7Fucked!

Cristian89Cristian89
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5998
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cristian89 : Just here for the laughs 😄
Ask for my kik if you wanna chat

Cristian89's page activity

Visits<b>bethyc4</b> - 14 hours ago<b>changster_</b> - yesterday at 9:04pm<b>phantomofmind</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:23pm<b>mcamilli</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:30pm<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:54pm<b>jordyn20915</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:07am<b>jayemerald17</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 7:14am<b>TheBelt</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Sazzles</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:19pm<b>chefnoel22</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:13pm<b>ApplePie1994</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:22pm<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 10:24am<b>erin55378</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:07am<b>chickypie1987</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:24am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:59pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:39pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:27pm<b>valeriewolfe</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:18pm

Fucked!<b>KVYLV</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:15am<b>marthagayo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:22am<b>nikkichanxoxo</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:19pm<b>nofreeusernames</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:41am<b>fooltemptress</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:22am<b>KurlyQ</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:56am<b>miliaras93</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:34am

Cristian89's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Cristian89's badges

Cristian89's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30929) - you deserved it (3070)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33468) - you deserved it (5682)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (12381)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3150)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (3381)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

#21246995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35410) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/28/2014 at 6:31am - work - by newswithabitofbite (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (7290)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42305) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

#21232717
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48438) - you deserved it (3610)

On 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm - love - by lonethong15 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45640) - you deserved it (3531)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

#21182108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43096) - you deserved it (4373)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm - health - by blackchin III (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52566) - you deserved it (4620)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

#21161435
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (7984)

On 06/03/2014 at 7:56am - money - by xerrika - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: