Cricketman

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Offline (the 03/19/2016 at 7:58pm)

Cricketman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1754
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Cricketman's page activity

Visits<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 5:07pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 1:24pm<b>ldemosthenous</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 1:15pm<b>hebrewnational35</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 5:24pm<b>JGonzalez70</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 11:06am<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 7:42pm<b>Umbreon01100</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:02pm<b>mexeuphemism</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:33pm<b>3051628</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Roterun</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 11:27am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:39am<b>Replicakes</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 5:06am

Cricketman's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Cricketman's badges

Cricketman's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

by SprinklerDodger / 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

by blocked / 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

by cbad / 01/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

by dumped / 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

by lizownsvirgy / 07/07/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML

by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

by Danou / 03/28/2011 at 9:51am / Miscellaneous