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Crazytonnie's favorite FMLs
by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 3:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
by engineerdude91 / 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by RaceCar / 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 12:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…