Crazynocatlady

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Offline (the 05/26/2016 at 9:23am)

Crazynocatlady

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 March 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1074
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Crazynocatlady's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:44am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 11:24am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 9:01am<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 1:30pm<b>TreyA</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 10:19am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:52pm<b>pete9913</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:41pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:14pm<b>DanCastellaneta</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:23am<b>Tannasgh</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 4:25pm<b>katejewels14</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:22am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 6:49pm<b>sinistral</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:48pm<b>aaron44</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:50am<b>Mornai</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:20pm<b>MollySheridan</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:43am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:35am

Fucked!<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:24pm

Crazynocatlady's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Crazynocatlady's badges

Crazynocatlady's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask a girl at my school for her number. As I was typing it into my phone, she pointed out the giant booger firmly attached to my sleeve. FML

by Joseflloyd / 05/12/2016 at 12:52am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, some random guy decided to wake me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close up view of my breasts. FML

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm / United States (Delaware) / Kids

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML

by angelisa / 11/21/2015 at 9:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

by kunjac0945 / 09/14/2015 at 1:21am / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

by surfer / 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

by dogggg / 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm / India (Maharashtra) / Animals

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend found a movie he loved on Netflix. He was so excited to show it to me and was certain I'd love it. I didn't have the heart to tell him what I really thought of White Chicks. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

by CEO / 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work