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Crazynocatlady's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Crazynocatlady's favorite FMLs
by alucas3 / 05/29/2016 at 4:14pm / United States / Transportation
by Joseflloyd / 05/12/2016 at 12:52am / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, some guy woke me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close-up view of my breasts. FML
by Bawsack / 04/30/2016 at 5:00am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2016 at 12:37pm / United States (Delaware) / Kids
Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML
by Unsuspecting / 04/16/2016 at 8:23am / United States / Health
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I finally felt ready to lose my virginity with my boyfriend. Unfortunately he was too embarrassed to go and buy some condoms, and suggested in all seriousness that we use a sandwich bag instead. FML
by angelisa / 11/21/2015 at 9:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by kunjac0945 / 09/14/2015 at 1:21am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work
by surfer / 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm / United States (New York) / Geek
by dogggg / 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm / India (Maharashtra) / Animals
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/22/2014 at 5:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by CEO / 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
by BaggedDown / 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…