About Contravene : I'm not really one for self-description. If you really want to know anything about me, just ask.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Contravene's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2011 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I realized that even though I was an honor student throughout school, and considered the golden child who was going to go far in life, all I've accomplished a year after graduation is becoming an unemployed single mother still living with my parents. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 7:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 03/28/2011 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Love
by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
by fffmmll / 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
by radiationkillz / 03/21/2011 at 12:25am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML
by crutchy / 03/20/2011 at 11:03am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
by embarassed / 03/20/2011 at 12:26am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
- Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only… Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in… Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to…