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Contra

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Contra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26161
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Contra : From ze England.

Contra's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:46pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:14pm<b>TheRandomGurf</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:08am<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:46pm<b>DietKola</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:44pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 1:40am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 12:11pm<b>hghrider123456</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:22pm<b>tcain2776</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:21pm<b>ct2k7</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 2:51pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:20pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:03am<b>cosmon</b> - the 10/04/2009 at 9:18am<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 7:02pm<b>WickedMilly</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 4:11pm<b>Darrus</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 2:53am<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:53pm<b>ashley207</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 2:59am

Contra's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Contra's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML

#2966827
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39400) - you deserved it (5049)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

#1751488
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79064) - you deserved it (24306)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57688) - you deserved it (20044)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95852) - you deserved it (39143)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93009) - you deserved it (5227)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (61084)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (294931) - you deserved it (19316)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (430693) - you deserved it (67878)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML

#768623
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16385) - you deserved it (64659)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - work - by ex-employee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

#765462
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68446) - you deserved it (7689)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103319) - you deserved it (22406)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34482) - you deserved it (125470)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML



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