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ComaWhiteLove

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ComaWhiteLove
  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 May 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 772
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ComaWhiteLove's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ComaWhiteLove's favorite FMLs

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (54434)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

#17109395
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18185) - you deserved it (44710)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37452) - you deserved it (8103)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70047) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
695 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67714) - you deserved it (14661)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (47495)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (33832)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (4352)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (1998)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with 5 other women. FML

#8670993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (1651)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:39pm - misc - by 0867142 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (3083)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)



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