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ComaWhiteLove

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ComaWhiteLove
  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 May 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 793
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ComaWhiteLove's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ComaWhiteLove's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31110) - you deserved it (105795)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43080) - you deserved it (2639)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64418) - you deserved it (16814)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59348) - you deserved it (3160)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57493) - you deserved it (19402)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (6307)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36796) - you deserved it (1889)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40603) - you deserved it (3771)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50236) - you deserved it (11509)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (5423)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (14707)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (1935)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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