Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Colourize

Online | Search for a member

Colourize

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Colourize's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:25pm<b>jamienicole1993</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 12:39am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 11:07pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:43pm<b>alexistxy</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 11:51pm<b>chickenboy221</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:12pm<b>Superdouchebag</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:48pm<b>irjgg</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 12:28pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:01pm<b>mad_ornahh</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 8:44pm<b>tempermental</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:58pm<b>tobyshook</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 1:52pm<b>FerniieBabiie</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:03pm<b>savvy8</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:15pm<b>b_muldowney0</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:19pm

Colourize's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Colourize's badges

Colourize's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

#21463628
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7889) - you deserved it (2003) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/02/2015 at 12:21am - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (4803)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (2757)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." 2 hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML

#21446551
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (4797)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Northern Mariana Islands

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

#21428256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (4563)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML

#21397904
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (2525)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27878) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

#21387543
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (2505)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

#21386851
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29553) - you deserved it (2798)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08am - misc - by overreacting - United States (Missouri)

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28323) - you deserved it (2760)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

#21312517
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (7210)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm - misc - by newly passed, newly grassed (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44179) - you deserved it (6279)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37976) - you deserved it (6273)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

#21205700
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44085) - you deserved it (4415)

On 07/11/2014 at 2:04am - health - by Useless training - United States (Illinois)

Today, I made an excuse and didn't turn up at work. Little did I know my boss did the same. We both bumped into each other at the shopping centre across town. FML

#21185382
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40316) - you deserved it (24268)

On 06/23/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by AGB10 - United Kingdom (Kent)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: