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Colecto

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Colecto
  • Town/Country : Belgrade, Serbia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1441
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Colecto : 'Digital Arts' student, actress, 'Mensa' member

Colecto's last visitors

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Colecto's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Colecto's badges

Colecto's favorite FMLs

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

#18791715
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10237) - you deserved it (35016)

On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (2254)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (3759) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (27183)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (5865)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (7374)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

#18189501
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (5845)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by InstantHardOn (man) - United States

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

#18189475
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10192) - you deserved it (30946)

On 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML

#18165328
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (8939)

On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19614) - you deserved it (45551)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (4990)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)



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