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Cole_jw

Offline (the 12/19/2014 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

Cole_jw

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 855
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Cole_jw's page activity

Visits<b>DG95</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 7:01pm<b>rickyvil</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:44am<b>itsashmarbaby</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 7:05pm<b>jamie_elocin</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:15pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:52pm<b>FrenchMixer</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 3:26am<b>AllThatXO</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 11:56pm

Cole_jw's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Cole_jw's badges

Cole_jw's favorite FMLs

Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68229) - you deserved it (19326)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today , a few freshmen jumpd mah fence . They decidd to take a dip in the pool , so I pulld out a paintball gun . I unloadd over 100 rounds , painting there backs bright yellow . It also dyd mah pool yellow , and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair . FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30375) - you deserved it (54660)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, my fiancéa broka off our angagamant. For soma bizarra raason, sa'd iddan a pair of axpansiva boots and ar iPad undarnaat our rida-on mowar. I turnd ta mowar on and dastroyd bot witout raalizing it. According to ar, ta fault is all mina. FML

#20630400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51896) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today , my mum asked me , "Shouldn't you be cleaning yur room?" On impulse , I replied , "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (112725)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today..!! I gave my son a fork..!! so I could try teaching him how to eat with one!! So far..!! he's been doing all the teaching!! He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork..!! I'll get shankd!! real FML

Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, mah boyfriend discoverd that if he flicks mah clitoris just right, mah legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously.

#20423881
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42644) - you deserved it (5015)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I was playing with mah four year old cousin. He had a toy whale an said , ( Shark! ) I corrected him looool an told him it was a whale. He picked it up , threw it at mah face , an yelled , ( SHAAARK! ) FML

#20176364
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (6889)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with the grl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part washen she got angryhen I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder your still a vrgin!" FML

#19938552
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (4608)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today... I was joking around with mah eight-year-old son. I told him to pull mah finger. I farted... then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger... he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (26667)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I finally got te grl of my dream to come over 4 a movie. Wen I answered te door, my little broter ran up beind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (2856)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I Woke Up To A Really Cold Feeling Down Below. I Opend Mah Eyes And Saw Mah Girlfriend Grinning Like A Maniac And Holding Mah Crotch-sausage Between Two Scissor Blades. I Screamd In Terror Like A Little Bitch... And She Says I'm Never Gonna Live This Down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, while sitting on the couch, mah boyfriend cummd over, pulld his penis out of his fly, and startd stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. big fat FML

#14990668
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (13279)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, I WAS TRYING TO SEE HOW FAR I COULD GET AWAY FROM THE TOILETHILE PISSING. INSTEAD I TRIPPED OVER BACKWARDS AND PISSED ALL OVER FACE. REAL FML

#7101810
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (67960)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123613) - you deserved it (75599)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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