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ColaNation's favorite FMLs
by future burger flipper / 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
by future walmart employee / 05/21/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by SteroidPenguin / 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/16/2013 at 6:51am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 11:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Sean / 05/01/2013 at 12:44am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML
by creepycrawley247 / 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML
by honeynuggetviolin / 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm / Money
by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML
by shatMyself / 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm / United States / Health
by no selfie for me / 04/16/2013 at 12:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 5:24am / Australia / Love
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…