Cocoapelli

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Offline (the 06/16/2016 at 10:29pm)

Cocoapelli

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21512
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cocoapelli : I'm a white collared working argonaut

Cocoapelli's page activity

Visits<b>paris_ava</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 4:41pm<b>TJBMX</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:18pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:48am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:09pm<b>I_Bite</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:59pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:33pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:40pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:45pm<b>deebiedoobie</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:20am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:45am

Cocoapelli's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Cocoapelli's badges

Cocoapelli's favorite FMLs

Today, we ran out of our disposal gloves at work. After saying how grossed out I was about having to touch raw chicken with my bare hands, my female boss goes, "Just imagine you're touching yourself. That's what I do." Even more grossed out now. FML

by RayniDae / 06/15/2016 at 4:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML

by mind your own business / 06/13/2016 at 6:31pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health

Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML

by tracy4191 / 06/13/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my oldest friends blocked me for refusing to drive her to and from a wedding that was over 30 miles away. The wedding was mine. FML

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He decided to lock me in the apartment until I say that we are in fact still together. This is the 4th time he has done this. FML

by stuck / 06/12/2016 at 1:59am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, a few weeks after moving in with my boyfriend, I borrowed his phone to Google something because mine was dead. His most recent searches? "How kill cat", "Kill cat laws", "Cat + poison". I thought he was ok with my cat when I moved in. FML

by Kitty Lover / 06/11/2016 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I told my dad about my new diet. He somehow figured I was only doing it to look more attractive to guys, because he told me my weight is fine and that it's just my personality that needs work. Thanks a lot, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 8:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I lost an art contest to some talentless arsepipe whose piece was literally just a broken heart crudely drawn in her own blood. FML

by can't wait to go home / 06/10/2016 at 3:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous

Today, after meeting my new girlfriend, my mom dyed and cut her hair the exact same way my girlfriend has hers. FML

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

by windsoffate / 06/09/2016 at 12:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids