Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cocoapelli

Offline (the 05/16/2015 at 12:34am) | Search for a member

Cocoapelli

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13581
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Cocoapelli : I'm a white collared working argonaut

Cocoapelli's page activity

Visits<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:40pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:45pm<b>deebiedoobie</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:20am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Allornone</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:12am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:45am

Cocoapelli's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Cocoapelli's badges

Cocoapelli's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML

#21410356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (2323)

On 05/15/2015 at 1:40am - love - by bluestripedsockm - United States (California)

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

#21406019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (4823)

On 05/07/2015 at 1:12am - work - by CASH_NoMOMEY - United States (California)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (3142)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (3358)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29588) - you deserved it (1837)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML

#21401688
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (2490)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:49am - work - by Goatczar - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (4538)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

#21401155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (3580)

On 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36221) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (3643)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

#21399911
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (5546)

On 04/26/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (3076)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (2291)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (2784)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: