Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CobraLazerFace

Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 2:49am) | Search for a member

CobraLazerFace

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25072
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About CobraLazerFace : Apparently you need 1000 comments to be able to use sarcasm here.

CobraLazerFace's page activity

Visits<b>bwup</b> - 24 hours ago<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:46pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:37pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:33am<b>firelord4563</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:03am<b>bazookajoey</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Cheezits4dayz</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:02pm<b>dnabdnekdjchs</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:54am<b>max2732</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:04am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:41am<b>the_fanciest_man</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:13am<b>allred1997</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>JesterMester</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:21pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:33pm<b>SweetasCandy0609</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:51pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 8:15pm<b>afrahmohasin</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:43pm

Fucked!<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:41pm

CobraLazerFace's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of CobraLazerFace's badges

CobraLazerFace's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a 31% on a Chinese test at school. I moved here to New Jersey from China two months ago. FML

#161990
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56067) - you deserved it (17674)

On 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178
1014 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74210) - you deserved it (763711)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
990 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79068) - you deserved it (445567)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (41939)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (46623)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
784 comments

I agree, your life sucks (805865) - you deserved it (83694)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34449) - you deserved it (458546)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: