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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm / Germany / Love
Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
by acnecream / 05/03/2013 at 9:23am / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Transportation
by Who1s269 / 05/03/2013 at 8:13am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
by clutzasaurus / 05/03/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML
by SingleStrongArm / 05/03/2013 at 1:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by future brain bleach addict / 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Holidays
by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by inyobeddd / 05/02/2013 at 4:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
by Paul / 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Work
- Today, after only walking about 12 kilometres around town, compared to my usual 20, I decided that… Today, I went out to eat with my sister, her boyfriend and my two little sisters. it was a buffet.… Today, after tossing and turning for hours trying to sleep, I finally doze off. I am then awoken by…