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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/15/2013 at 2:43am / United States / Love
by turdtonomor9 / 05/12/2013 at 10:08am / United States / Love
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
by lachaisse / 05/12/2013 at 8:09am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by those_allergies / 05/12/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by lamsolonely / 05/12/2013 at 12:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Baikal / 05/12/2013 at 12:09am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by joeidk / 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
by wrongguy / 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
by Bridget / 05/11/2013 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
by brokedad / 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm / United States / Kids
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
by Uwrongfodat / 05/09/2013 at 6:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to…