Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Claytonioo

Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 11:33pm) | Search for a member

Claytonioo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3622
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Claytonioo's page activity

Visits<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:08am<b>lsheldon2018</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:54am<b>Googolman</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Annabomb</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Misshhh</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:55am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:25pm<b>stronghand0331</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:09am<b>LizetteBerenice</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:00am<b>nyancait</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:49am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:53pm<b>KodiG</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:57am<b>vividpictures</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:32pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 5:02am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:58am<b>ninany63</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:12am<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:56pm<b>CurlyQute</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 2:20pm

Claytonioo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Claytonioo's badges

Claytonioo's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61449) - you deserved it (6024)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52282) - you deserved it (4134)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61854) - you deserved it (8969)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59166) - you deserved it (3801)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49507) - you deserved it (4119)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51585) - you deserved it (18315)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59766) - you deserved it (7253)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52752) - you deserved it (3377)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (38167)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55798) - you deserved it (9306)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91851) - you deserved it (5811)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61125) - you deserved it (5511)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59134) - you deserved it (6026)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML

#20653026
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55049) - you deserved it (6931)

On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56234) - you deserved it (3858)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: