Claytonioo

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Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 11:33pm)

Claytonioo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Claytonioo's page activity

Visits<b>AABabe</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 10:32pm<b>Elisabethandrine</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 10:06am<b>Thatgirly</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 12:46am<b>demonte_jones</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:08am<b>lsheldon2018</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:40pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:54am<b>Googolman</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 6:28pm<b>Annabomb</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 6:12pm<b>Misshhh</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:55am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:25pm<b>stronghand0331</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:09am<b>LizetteBerenice</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:00am<b>nyancait</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:49am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:53pm<b>KodiG</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:57am<b>vividpictures</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:32pm<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 5:02am<b>ThatsStoryOfLife</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:58am

Claytonioo's FML badges

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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

by Jake / 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 1:54am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

by Frazz / 06/10/2013 at 1:09am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

by Time for a haircut / 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

by well okay then / 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

by disappointed dad / 05/19/2013 at 3:35am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

by Jololol / 05/17/2013 at 5:25am / United States / Miscellaneous