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Claytonioo

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Claytonioo
  • Town/Country : Murica
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 750
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (6414)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML

#20672414
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (4246)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (2808)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54097) - you deserved it (5266)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (3774)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55946) - you deserved it (8269)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55692) - you deserved it (3555)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43053) - you deserved it (3286)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (16333)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54418) - you deserved it (6714)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48473) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26774) - you deserved it (36111)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50757) - you deserved it (8650)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78916) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52902) - you deserved it (4389)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)



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