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Claytonioo's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML
by OhJoy_777 / 07/08/2014 at 4:05am / Love
by MaddyN / 07/08/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML
by fartbucket51995129565 / 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML
by lemongrab / 05/18/2014 at 10:14am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2014 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
by frustrated / 05/17/2014 at 6:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by pissed off / 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
by Female Struggles / 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
by wtf / 05/16/2014 at 6:25pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
- Today, my bestfriend was so drunk i had to go pick her up at the mc donalds stop light. When i saw… Today, I decided it would be a good idea to take a seasonal allergy benadryl because I can't sleep,… Today, I had to get my blood taken for a test at the doctors. The lady came in with a girl about my…