About Classy_Turtle : Just some person. Currently pondering the universe in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.
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Classy_Turtle's favorite FMLs
by ShowOff / 03/11/2010 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by cmendez / 02/26/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by disasterbutton / 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML
by notgoodenough38 / 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML
by WIIslave / 12/14/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML
by Klepto / 11/15/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by AdriBAMF / 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:06am / Kazakhstan (Almaty) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
by bsaucedo / 07/28/2009 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Kids
by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML
by moutz / 07/20/2009 at 3:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids
by blind / 06/24/2009 at 8:11am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a… Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when… Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem,…