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Classy_Turtle

Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 10:52pm) | Search for a member

Classy_Turtle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1217
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Classy_Turtle : Just some person. Currently pondering the universe in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

Classy_Turtle's page activity

Visits<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:55pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:34pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:58pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:33pm<b>J1728</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:32pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 1:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Flaptrap</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:11am<b>scrapper5</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 7:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 6:12am<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:44am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:51pm

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Classy_Turtle's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

#16114978
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (11413)

On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46979) - you deserved it (13922)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML

#15377390
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (2695)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22403) - you deserved it (42868)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML

#14788536
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (6830)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8383) - you deserved it (60576)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (11131)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17546) - you deserved it (43180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

#14129951
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48217) - you deserved it (5611)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:34am - intimacy - by fme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65330) - you deserved it (9249)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9492) - you deserved it (30876)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37155) - you deserved it (4289)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47895) - you deserved it (13779)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10669) - you deserved it (44239)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7344) - you deserved it (19675)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



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