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Classy_Turtle

Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 10:52pm) | Search for a member

Classy_Turtle

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Classy_Turtle : Just some person. Currently pondering the universe in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

Classy_Turtle's page activity

Visits<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 4:55pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 5:34pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:58pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 6:33pm<b>J1728</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:32pm<b>ibeliebvatic</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 1:21pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:32pm<b>Flaptrap</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:11am<b>scrapper5</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 7:03pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 6:12am<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 2:44am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:51pm

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Classy_Turtle's favorite FMLs

2day I won a local arm-wrestling tournament!! Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition!! FML

#20700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (14372)

On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" an then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56176) - you deserved it (4374)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, MY PARENTS DECIDD TO WAKE ME UP ON MY BIRTHDAY. THEY FLASHD THE LIGHTS AND YANKD OFF MY BD SHEETS. I SLEEP NAKD. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (10618)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (10773)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I Awoke To My Husband Talking To Someone On The Phone At 2am. I Heard Him Say, ( Baby You're Making Me Hard. ) Immediately, I Asked Himho He Was Talking To. His Response? ( It's Jake, From State Farm. ) Fat FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (8550)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

TODAY, I FOUND OUT GIRLFRIEND CAN DO HEATH LEDGER'S "JOKER" VOICE PERFECTLY. I'M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD BE SCARED OR IMPRESSED. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (6380)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant . The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter , and I thought they were fir me . I ate one and a lady came over screaming . Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony . FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26218) - you deserved it (16811)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today someone paintd the "Dark Mark" on the side of mah car. It won't come off and mah kids refuse to get in cuz it means "a wizard did in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (3792)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, mah wife wants to name our frst child Sri, after the iPhone function!! FML

#20182157
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis . He then used the copie to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school . FML

#20128322
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (4533)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, mah laptop got hit by a Trojan . Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench . mega FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, I came home to find mah eight-year-old son had basically set looool fre to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV calld "fre bending." FML

#20083631
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (9114)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss told ma is cancar tast rasults cama back positiva . I congratulatad im and askad ow a plannad to calabrata . It turns out a positiva cancar tast rasult is a bad ting . FML

#20083093
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6913) - you deserved it (54970)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today I was out shopping when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late 4 those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. fat FML

#20066250
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (70465)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Taday ma pregnant wife broke down in tears over te fact tat since moving to Brazil 4 ma job, we don't ave regular access to macaroni and ceese. mega FML

#20032360
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (5570)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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