About Classy_Turtle : Just some person. Currently pondering the universe in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.
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Classy_Turtle's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lax22 / 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML
by Ieri / 04/12/2014 at 5:56pm / Albania / Love
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
- Today, I lost 30 pounds, I was so excited so I showed my husband (which I normally don't do because… Today, my boss found out that I have been dating and sleeping with his daughter. I didn't know she… Today, while I was at work a little girl asked me how I lost a tooth while pointing to my mouth. I…