About Classy_Turtle : Just some person. Currently pondering the universe in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.
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Classy_Turtle's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and I cheekily told him about something I'd read that's supposed to feel really good during sex. I then heard his sister sarcastically say, "Yeah, that does feel pretty good". Apparently he'd had me on speaker the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2014 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lax22 / 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work
Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML
by Ieri / 04/12/2014 at 5:56pm / Albania / Love
Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm / Egypt / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and… Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added… Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be…