ClassyCommando

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ClassyCommando

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1669
  • Number of comments : 632
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ClassyCommando : Name's Joe. I like flowers, sunshine, and long walks through Mordor.

ClassyCommando's page activity

Visits<b>imabassist</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 8:05pm<b>ber_moresushi</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 12:46am<b>_awwhellnaw_</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 12:25am<b>courtly25</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 11:13pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:05am<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 5:32pm<b>BlackRosey_</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 7:33pm<b>unsealingkale</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:45am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:33pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:46pm<b>spoonmooon</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:24am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 3:43am<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:52pm<b>mr_dour</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 8:07am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 9:26am<b>ThatLoneIyGuy</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:47am<b>potatomagic</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:35pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 5:27pm

ClassyCommando's FML badges

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Perfectionist

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ClassyCommando's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML

by still had to pay / 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm / Australia / Kids

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

by NOIDIDNOT / 11/19/2012 at 1:21am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM / 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while giving a lecture on gender equality in the workplace, a woman yelled from the back, asking me why I'm not out starting a war somewhere. I stopped talking and tried to pinpoint her in the crowd, which she took as a sign to snort and call me a pussy. Nobody would back me up. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 1:40pm / Latvia (Riga) / Work

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 1:18am / United States (New Mexico) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML

by tatatest / 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

by elite / 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

by Scorned Employee / 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health