Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Clairina

Search for a member

Clairina
  • Town/Country : miami, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 18 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1406
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Clairina : =)

Clairina's last visitors

AGhost5445Mornaiherecomesthesun3MrHurricaneFreezexxlillyxx

Clairina's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Clairina's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

#2422522
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40931) - you deserved it (7794)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

#2183304
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (5328)

On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27494) - you deserved it (44768)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90299) - you deserved it (19961)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81454) - you deserved it (222532)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81454) - you deserved it (222532)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins are still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid runs out and shoots me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and he ruined my new suit. FML

#1060859
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (6016)

On 04/17/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ruined_suit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins are still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid runs out and shoots me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and he ruined my new suit. FML

#1060859
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (6016)

On 04/17/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ruined_suit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins are still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid runs out and shoots me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and he ruined my new suit. FML

#1060859
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49603) - you deserved it (6016)

On 04/17/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by ruined_suit (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car got a flat tire. I jacked up my car, removed the flat and went to get my spare out of the trunk. Where my spare is supposed to be I found a note. It said "You're a bitch - John". John is my ex boyfriend. He borrowed my car the day we broke up, apparently he stole my spare tire too. FML

#1039565
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46336) - you deserved it (8461)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by jacked (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58759) - you deserved it (8848)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (43371)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I was flirting with a really hot guy at a track meet and I gave him my number. When I asked him what school he went to he replied, "Oh, I don't go to school, We're from the juvenile corrections facility." FML

#410087
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59279) - you deserved it (21637)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:42am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9020) - you deserved it (37713)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: