About Chris9616 : super layed back. like to meet new people and LOVE this app. love music video games football ifunny and basketball. oh and food...i love food..message me if you want. I'll talk to just about anyone. umm a little about my self? world traveler. I've lived in Japan Washington California the Bahamas Florida Virginia and Louisiana. um I like to write and I'm a senior in HS.
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Chris9616's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML
by gnafron / 12/31/2013 at 6:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by Are you kidding me? / 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML
by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML
by kilamo80 / 07/27/2013 at 5:26am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML
by Immaculatedream / 07/27/2013 at 3:56am / New Zealand / Love
Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by cheekychimp23 / 07/24/2013 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Animals
- Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the… Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy in the bedroom, I had already undressed her… Today, I'm sick. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't leaving for college in three days, and…