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Offline (the 12/09/2015 at 3:24pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 21 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1463
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Chris9616 : super layed back. like to meet new people and LOVE this app. love music video games football ifunny and basketball. oh and food...i love food..message me if you want. I'll talk to just about anyone. umm a little about my self? world traveler. I've lived in Japan Washington California the Bahamas Florida Virginia and Louisiana. um I like to write and I'm a senior in HS.

Chris9616's page activity

Visits<b>Emi1y</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:08am<b>jeriaslovesyou</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Ch_rae5</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:02pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 4:27am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:42pm<b>DomiLove</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:24pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:44pm<b>carry_on</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:52pm<b>Callilah</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 1:15pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 1:03am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 5:45pm<b>mollspuff</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:25pm<b>aine500</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:10pm<b>StupidlyCute</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:28pm<b>amberl767</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:13am<b>casual_commenter</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 3:29am<b>zaise_chsa</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:54am<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 5:22pm

Fucked!<b>Emi1y</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:26pm

Chris9616's FML badges

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Chris9616's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 7:28am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

by gnafron / 12/31/2013 at 6:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

by Are you kidding me? / 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

by kilamo80 / 07/27/2013 at 5:26am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

by Immaculatedream / 07/27/2013 at 3:56am / New Zealand / Love

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML