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ChivasFan

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ChivasFan
  • Town/Country : San Jose, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1631
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ChivasFan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

#1268284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (48065)

On 04/23/2009 at 7:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML

#1091481
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58655) - you deserved it (13151)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68415) - you deserved it (24731)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201259) - you deserved it (19794)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267593) - you deserved it (17485)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

#644152
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71334) - you deserved it (3915)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you deserved it (86751)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (60322)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
51 comments

Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML

#129411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (4938)

On 02/24/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by asdfghjkl_12 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100238) - you deserved it (9010)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the end of a really long day my boyfriend was rubbing my back. I told him I appreciated how sensitive he was being. His response? "I was just trying to figure out how to unhook your bra." FML

#61152
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39130) - you deserved it (7877)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by KS (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8135) - you deserved it (56848)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266171) - you deserved it (49517)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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