About Chingy892987 : I'm an artist and can be pretty shy.
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Chingy892987's favorite FMLs
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML
by housedoctor / 02/22/2014 at 6:01am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love
by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML
Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML
by gnafron / 12/31/2013 at 6:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML
by jhulich / 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML
by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous