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Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 3:42am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8158
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ChaosBlitz's page activity

Visits<b>WildShortstop13</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:38pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:16pm<b>dalink</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 7:00am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 8:41pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:27am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:37am<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:59pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:06am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:18am<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:02pm<b>Sinkhole</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:53am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>MrGauss</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:42pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:31am<b>AudreySucks</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 4:41pm<b>vinnylord</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:20pm

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ChaosBlitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

by AllergyRidden / 12/24/2011 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

by arrowtopatella / 12/24/2011 at 12:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

by Une Fille / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

by roadkill0321 / 11/07/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Love

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

by Benjamin / 10/27/2011 at 9:22pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

by cupcake_butt / 10/17/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

by ouch / 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

by Smart / 09/16/2011 at 10:42am / United States / Kids