Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ChaosBlitz

Search for a member

ChaosBlitz
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1020
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ChaosBlitz's last visitors

mcm_3dalinkTheImaginarySongRoseFox0029ilovesarcasmBTF989jadeluvDennisse_47TM24DSinkholeHammer6

ChaosBlitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ChaosBlitz's badges

ChaosBlitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (6080)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48681) - you deserved it (16725)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43075) - you deserved it (14707)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (26054)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, an attractive guy came up to me and told me that I looked sexy in a picture online. He then asked himself why he had never asked me out before. Apparently, he doesn't remember our 6-month relationship, or how it ended when he slept with my sister. FML

#20548927
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (2979)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:28am - love - by mcds2 (woman) - United States

Today, after six months of writing a 40 page paper criticizing a famous method, I found out the professor who conceived it has transferred to my favorite college to head the department I'm applying to study in. They require I submit the paper with my application. FML

#20548512
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (4227)

On 03/17/2013 at 11:09pm - work - by GeoKid (man) - Canada

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (2053)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (42743)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37950) - you deserved it (3710)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (26454)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (4351)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8802) - you deserved it (19679)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45964) - you deserved it (3149)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: