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ChaosBlitz

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 3:42am) | Search for a member

ChaosBlitz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5931
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ChaosBlitz's page activity

Visits<b>WildShortstop13</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:38pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:16pm<b>dalink</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 7:00am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 8:41pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:27am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:37am<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:59pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:06am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:18am<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:02pm<b>Sinkhole</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:53am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>MrGauss</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:42pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:31am<b>AudreySucks</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 4:41pm<b>vinnylord</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:20pm

ChaosBlitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Consolation prize

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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See all of ChaosBlitz's badges

ChaosBlitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

#11991
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33541) - you deserved it (12057)

On 02/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by phobopohobia (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (29107)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7995) - you deserved it (31660)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51290) - you deserved it (9519)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12472) - you deserved it (63494)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76087) - you deserved it (4369)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

#286
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32670) - you deserved it (7547)

On 11/12/2008 at 3:10am - intimacy - by aur - Sent from mobile version

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (143048)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version



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