ChaosBlitz

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Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 3:42am)

ChaosBlitz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7929
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ChaosBlitz's page activity

Visits<b>WildShortstop13</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 6:38pm<b>mcm_3</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:16pm<b>dalink</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 7:00am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 8:41pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:27am<b>RoseFox0029</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 7:37am<b>ilovesarcasm</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 8:59pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:06am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 2:18am<b>TM24D</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:02pm<b>Sinkhole</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 8:53am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:56pm<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 1:33pm<b>MrGauss</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:42pm<b>kiskraze</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 10:31am<b>AudreySucks</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 4:41pm<b>vinnylord</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:20pm

ChaosBlitz's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ChaosBlitz's badges

ChaosBlitz's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

by phobopohobia / 02/06/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

by suicide / 02/04/2009 at 10:48am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

by Jebus / 01/24/2009 at 11:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

by Mateo / 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

by Mak1 / 12/05/2008 at 3:12am / Belgium (Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I remember the first night I spent with my first English boyfriend. I'm French, and when we woke up, I said in my most sexy voice "Oh, I'm so dirty!" It's only when he left that I finally understood the look on his face; I wanted to have a glass of water. I was thirsty, not dirty. FML

by aur / 11/12/2008 at 3:10am / Intimacy

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

by Ben-Ben / 11/06/2008 at 4:43am / Intimacy