About Chaith : I'm Jonathan Ryan
I run a student powered contracting business, and am studying for my public accountant designation. I love travelling, fitness, and improving myself in any way that I can.
I absolutely read all of your FML stories. Thanks for being amazing.
About Chaith : I'm Jonathan Ryan
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Chaith's favorite FMLs
Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML
by HappilyNeverAfter / 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML
by kharrington / 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I flew to another country to see a concert. He said he'd carry all the cash and tickets in his wallet, so I left my bag at the hotel. He got so drunk, five minutes into the show he took off leaving me stranded in a strange city with no means of getting back to the hotel. FML
by givemechange / 04/06/2011 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Holidays
Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML
by faza4327 / 04/06/2011 at 3:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy
by Hanna / 04/03/2011 at 1:55pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by guest / 04/01/2011 at 5:33pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML
by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Transportation
by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy
by Fml24609 / 08/09/2010 at 4:29am / United States (New York) / Work
- Today, my new husband and I embarked on our honeymoon together that has been months in the planning… Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full… Today my boss fussed at me for something my co-worker did yesterday "because you were sitting right…