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Ch_rae5's favorite FMLs
by TheTacoMan / 02/01/2015 at 4:12pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML
by mainlineloser / 11/28/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Badatlife / 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by idiot says pussy / 01/21/2014 at 12:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by pootie / 12/11/2013 at 8:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 11/30/2013 at 3:31am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ericabearr / 11/18/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by AshlynnPrime / 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by emirie / 11/14/2013 at 4:33pm / Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City) / Kids
by awkwardencounters / 11/12/2013 at 6:18am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML
by LetMeOut / 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…