Cenobyte

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/25/2016 at 12:42pm)

Cenobyte

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7648
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Cenobyte's page activity

Visits<b>BloodCactus</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:55pm<b>Kevin55</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:14am<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:30pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:30am<b>zssw</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Minnieal28</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:44pm<b>azzholio</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:30pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:12am<b>Jamer99</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:04am<b>Leftwise</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:47am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:39am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:51am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 7:08am<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:25am<b>jimmyneal1122</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:25am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:06am<b>zainman13</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:41am<b>thebigsexy315</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:49am

Fucked!<b>fastman19</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 1:54pm

Cenobyte's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Cenobyte's badges

Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

by soni_miller / 01/26/2016 at 1:02am / United States (Virginia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I went to McDonald's. I was unaware of the Monopoly contest that they were holding. I was also unaware that you have to get 3 stickers of the same colour to claim your prize, and that it's not that easy to win a Jeep Cherokee. Taking down my Facebook post was awkward. FML

by youknowyoureoptimisticwhen / 11/08/2015 at 11:45am / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

by LeaveTheGuyAlone / 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

by SApprentice / 06/05/2013 at 12:25am / United States (Virginia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.