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Cenobyte

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Cenobyte

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  • Number of visits : 6158
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - yesterday at 7:59am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:43pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:32pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 7:26pm<b>richardcard82</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:37am<b>FrenchieJoking</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:38am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:04pm<b>db32</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>papashaan</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 7:50am<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:21pm<b>adragonhunter</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 8:55pm<b>micahthebeast10</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:43pm<b>xoxocochrach96</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:52am<b>its_nick_bros</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:47pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 6:02pm<b>angelicdevil</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:28am<b>s1s1</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:10pm

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Cenobyte's favorite FMLs

TODAY MY MOM VISITED. WHILE SHE WAS USING THE BATHROOM, MY MAN-CHILD OF A HUSBAND THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO KNOCK ON THE BATHROOM DOOR WITH HIS PENIS, THINKING IT WAS ME IN THERE. SHE OPENED THE DOOR TO FINE HIM STANDING THERE DOING THE "HELICOPTER". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55364) - you deserved it (5834)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that mah girlfriend hasn't really been "resereching" fir work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her . She's 29 . big fat FML

#20808571
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40451) - you deserved it (4583)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:18pm - misc - by LeaveTheGuyAlone (man) - United States (New York)

Today, Cuz I Refusd To Shave Off What My Wife Calls My "pedo 'stache", She Paintd "Free Candy" On The Side Of My Van. Fat FML

#20807393
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (27615)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going to fight tha guy who my girlfriand laft ma for. Whila waiting at tha park, ha sant ma a vidao of tha two of tham having sax on my bad. FML

#20768398
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65882) - you deserved it (21421)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview!! All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So,hy should we hre you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one!! FML

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found cat dead on te road. I called family and told tem, and later buried te cat. Not long after I got done burying it, cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. mega FML

#20757856
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (9990)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was explaining to mah son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I looool finishd explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he startd crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (9511)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today after years looool of faking pleasure with my boyfriend I visited the gynaecologist!! As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan!! FML

#20720590
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (71753)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today , Mah Boyfriend Asked If I Could Grow Out Mah Pubic Hair Since I Usually Wax It. He Said His Mom Has A Full Bush And He Always Thought It Looks Better That Way. FML

#20719191
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84141) - you deserved it (6912)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man !! As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir !! I meant sir looool !! I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away !! FML

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of mah breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (12097)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

TODAY, IT'S ONLY DAY OFF WORK IN AHILE. I TOLD BOSS I'D BE AVAILABLE VIA PHONE IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES. SO FAR I'VE BEEN CALLD THREE TIMES: TO ASK HOW THE FAX WORKS, TO LET ME KNOW IT'S A SLOW DAY, AND TO ASK MEHERE THE LETTER R IS ON A KEYBOARD. FML

#20604416
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (5505)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:17am - work - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, it was raining haavily so I wora mah black poncho as I walkad to work. On tha way thara I noticad an old and saamingly homalass man following ma. I turnad around to confront him. Ha pickad up a stick and scraamad "Expacto Patronum!" Apparantly I look lika a damantor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the arport after saying goodbye to my, fir some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opend my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretendd to know wat it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51711) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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