About Casablancas879 : Hi, my name is Samantha if you wanna talk kik me at Casablancas0000. I won't send nudes (just for those who planned on asking). I love The Strokes, MGMT, Joan Jett, Panic! At The Disco, Blondie, Scorpions, Queensryche, and any other classics. I'm a half-ass grammar nazi so yeah. If you wanna know anything else feel free to message and/or kik me.
Casablancas879's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Casablancas879's favorite FMLs
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
by rain1 / 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/20/2013 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals
Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML
by seizuregirl17 / 11/19/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML
by Tao26 / 11/10/2013 at 5:06pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML
by Champignon / 11/01/2013 at 10:17am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML
by Shady_Soldier / 10/31/2013 at 4:41am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…