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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17854
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's page activity

Visits<b>snope</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:27pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:33pm<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:24am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:37pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:54pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:14pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kubackster</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:48pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mpkpm</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:07pm<b>Qele</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:34pm<b>icebreaker012</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 11:10am<b>msmama1985</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>Bentonic</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 12:31am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:27am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 7:24am

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

by thefailwhale / 06/16/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

by shalara / 06/15/2012 at 4:23pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received the photos my friend took of me proposing to my girlfriend. I'd proposed at the place we'd first met: the local zoo. When I looked them over, I noticed there was an elephant taking a poop in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids

Today, I tried to go to the gym, but I ended up watching cat videos on YouTube for three hours. FML

by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

by sickness_sucks / 06/15/2012 at 2:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was at the mall with my friend. A lady came up to us and told my friend that she could be a model. Then the lady looked at me and said, "Oh... Nice shoes." FML

by Rose / 06/15/2012 at 1:54am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

by ultraattitude / 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Health

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML

by thanksnicksparks / 06/11/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Love

Today, at my workplace, I saw a system crashing. I mean literally, my manager was throwing my colleague's laptop at him while shouting around the office. This is only my second day. FML

by in_hardik / 06/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

by fernie vazquez / 06/10/2012 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2012 at 4:47am / United States (Washington) / Work