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Carrikins

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Carrikins
  • Town/Country : Perth, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5335
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Carrikins's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

#20092519
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9710) - you deserved it (39553)

On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (6157)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (2082)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

#20091458
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21873) - you deserved it (1621)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (2174)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21977) - you deserved it (3829)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11598) - you deserved it (33102)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

#19992100
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8346) - you deserved it (21119)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by fmlgrl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML

#19991998
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (5039)

On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31075) - you deserved it (2701)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (4090)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11058) - you deserved it (18894)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (24796) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -



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